Apr. 22nd, 2017

schneefink: (ahsoka)
Role-playing is hard. Yesterday at D&D my character had a very difficult/upsetting/difficult-to-process experience and I had to decide how she would react to that, on the fly, while the other players were waiting and plot was progressing. Right after that, while she was still processing and trying to plan for what it meant for the future, came more stress and more unexpected things, so definitely a very difficult time for her. (The last time that happened she killed several thousand people.) I was stressed too! I thought she would be unsettled enough to be less careful than would usually be wise – and she promptly walked straight into a trap, almost died if not for the DM's mercy and was almost brain-washed on top of that, got stuck in a very tense situation, and that's where we ended the session. Whoa.

I worry a bit if what I did with her was "in character" - it's my character!, but I've been trying to give her enough personality so that there are things that would be OOC for her, which is not always easy when the first impulse is often to react like I would react. It's really hard to try and describe her, too. My DM recently asked me what her life goals are, basically, and that too was really difficult because she hasn't had much of a chance to think of goals apart from survival and preventing mass-murder/genocide and ensuring the world doesn't end. It's been a difficult time since she came to life a few months ago.

I also try to balance her actions with good gameplay. We have one player who tries to play his character being very cautious and careful when it comes to plans, to the point where he sometimes goes off alone or doesn't accompany the party on quests, and of course then it'll be less interesting for him because his character isn't involved. (Sometimes I do understand the impulse though.)

Details from the last few D&D sessions:Be careful when messing with gods. )

We'll see what happens next time! I love playing D&D.

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