Should I just magically know how other students do things or what

[schneefink]

I wouldn't think twice about getting an email from my bachelor's thesis advisor telling me that the disposition (for which I had no guidelines apart from "should include disposition, structure, and literature") was meant to be, or even that she simply preferred it to be, 5-7 pages long rather than 2 and much more detailed than what I handed in. (Even though my advisor refused to discuss the topic in advance because "in her experience results are better if the students become familiar with the topic on their own and come up with their own approach", and so if I had gone into that much detail I would have been frustrated to now be told to leave certain chapters out entirely. And the topic and most of the relevant legal field were completely new to me when I got it and I only had one month.)

But getting an email that says "I have never received a disposition this short" and "most students add a lot more detail which makes it easier for us to give feedback" – what am I meant to do with that? Sorry you suck at giving sufficiently detailed instructions? Sorry you didn't realize that a 15 minute video conference did not convey the same amount of information about what's expected than the usual prep meetings do? The actual feedback she gave was fine, but I found the tone of her entire message infuriating.
I'm now trying to vent to enough people about this so that when I reply I'll be nice and polite and thankful instead of trying to justify myself. Grr.
(Possibly I am overreacting a bit?; whatever.)

Comments

[sheron]

You are NOT overreacting. Good god!

I know all about insufficient instructions from an academic advisor who then comes back with some BS about how she thought I would magically divine meaning from how she never said anything about what was wrong. TOTAL SYMPATHY.

But okay at least now you know and can do something else with it. But yeeesh!

[schneefink]

But she said I could ask her any time if I had any questions! And since I didn't ask any questions clearly that meant I had all the necessary information.
At least now I know that next time I need to ask about every detail, just in case.

[sheron]

I spent one year working on a project with my advisor and another person. Not once during that year did she complain about anything or said we did something wrong. When we were finishing up, writing the final paper, it turned out she deeply disliked something for a year and we did not magically guess that she disliked it so she was "upset".

me: *primal scream*

So...I know.

ETA: (Turns out, thinking about it even now infuriates me :D But yeah, I think venting now and taking constructive criticism positively later is the way to go in general. Good luck!)

[schneefink]

Uuugh, yeah, that sounds infuriating! One year, ouch. People who expect telepathy are so frustrating.

[dr_zook]

I understand your reaction! But I think I wouldn't dwell on it too much, especially if the feedback you got is something that helped you. Maybe in a next round of disposition-feedback you could refer to how things went this time? Like, "If you expect Xyz in order to can do Zyx better, you're welcome to tell me now." Not passive-aggressive, but nicely?

When I recall my senior classes before Abitur something like that happened to me all the time, because I seldom wrote more than four DIN A4 lined sheets, regardless of the topic. :D My teachers just shook their head and gave me good grades-- because it was about quality not quantity. If that's similar with your academic writing you could maybe talk to your advisor about it before there are bad surprises?

[schneefink]

Yeah, I'm trying to focus on the fact that the feedback she gave was actually useful, so it could be much worse.

In general the institute also said that quality is more important than quantity. I think the disconnect this time was because we were talking about different stages of the process: I thought the disposition was for the initial discussion about approach and focus (especially since with my topic that was unclear to me), while she apparently wanted to skip that/combine it with the next stage already.

Next time I'll just have to ask more questions about every detail, just in case. But I don't think I'll refer to this round, I don't think that would go well ^^

[worlds_of_smoke]

Wow. Yeah, I would be hurt and pissed off about that too.

[schneefink]

My plan is to be pissed about it today and then tackle the constructive feedback tomorrow.

[dr_zook]

+1 !!! :D

Very mature. Chapeau!

[worlds_of_smoke]

That's a good plan. <3

[trobadora]

Ugh. I hate people who won't give clear instructions and then get huffy at people not magically intuiting what they meant. You're not overreacting at all!

All the sympathy, seriously. (At least venting is good for the soul.)

[schneefink]

Yeah, venting does help. Because of the pandemic I've never met her face to face, I think that might have helped with knowing how she works/what she expects, but I'll manage somehow.

[beatrice_otter]

No, I don't think you're overreacting. The teacher did not give adequately detailed instructions.

[schneefink]

I'm especially annoyed because I asked if we should meet (virtually) to discuss things and she declined. (Maybe I'll still ask about a face-to-face meeting once classes start again because I suspect that she might be more comfortable with that type of communication and maybe that'll be more productive.)

[enemyofperfect]

I agree with everyone else that you aren't overreacting at all! If I squint, I can imagine that maybe she felt awkward about the misunderstanding, but even if that were the case, it's not like it helped anything for her to put that awkwardness on you. So much sympathy!

[schneefink]

Ngl it was good to hear from several people that I wasn't alone in thinking her message was rude. Maybe once classes start again I can meet with her in person, maybe that suits her better?, idk.