schneefink

Gladly :D

My very own motherfucking dragon.
You get a pet dragon. (A wyrmling. The player rolls a d10 for color, and then I rolled for personality.)
The result was a wyrmling white dragon, stubborn, lazy, and aggressive, so that will be fun ^^
Extremely tight pants
All pants you wear are extremely tight. -2 Dexterity to all activities involving your legs.
We agreed that she can avoid this if she wears only dresses and skirts. Still negotiating about underwear. She things a thong should not count.
A tiny horse
You get a tiny horse. (So small that only tiny creatures can ride it.)
Sunshine and rainbows
Once per day (but not during the night) you can change the weather to sunny with rainbows.
Multiple stab wounds
You get 2d10 stab wounds that do 1d4 damage each. (scale up depending on player level.)
Puppies!
Once per day for an hour you can summon a pile of puppies. They do nothing but play with you.
Being a motherfucking sorcerer.
You can cast spells like a level 1 sorcerer, get a familiar, and the sorcerer class skills. (Not sure what I would do if the character already is a sorcerer but fortunately none of my party are.)
Time travel paradox.
One per day you can reroll any one of your own dice rolls.
A really cool hat.
You have a really cool hat that gives you +2 Charisma. You have to wear it.
In our version I decided that this is a very shiny shimmering fez. Probably velvet.
Bees?
You see an illusionary swarm of bees all around you. (-5 to Spot and Listen.) You're pretty sure they're illusions (Will save DC 10 every hour.)
One of our rogues drew this card. She is not happy.
A balanced breakfast.
You get a picnic basket with a nutritionally optimized breakfast for up to ten people. (Everyone gets 10 temporary HP for 12 hours.) It can be used weekly.
Unfathomable stupidity.
-4 Intelligence.
Fortunately for my party, nobody drew this.
Inappropriate yodeling.
At random times (the DM rolls) you start yodeling. The odds are even higher when you are trying to be stealthy.
Spectacular abs.
You get +2 Strength.

Some other cards my party drew were the tiny horse and the inappropriate yodeling, so that will be fun. Sadly, no puppies.