Soo, about that self-control

[schneefink]

I'm aware and so grateful that in several aspects I'm very lucky: I don't live alone, I can work from home and am not worried about losing my job, I live near parks, my family is healthy etc.

But man, working from home is not good for me. Several years of therapy for depression made it even clearer that I do not do well without at least some external structure. I made a strict schedule for the next days and DD is going to help enforce it, hopefully that will help. I'm using a spare desk in her room as office space, that's convenient.

Other things:
- For the second time this week my WiFi isn't working in the evening and it's annoying.
- The postcards are not all sent yet because so many of you wanted poems, I was not prepared for that and now have to choose them.
- It doesn't feel like a have a lot more time than before. A little at best. Definitely not enough for everything I want to read.
- Two days ago I heard sirens and was worried that it was am ambulance, and then relieved to see it was fire fighters, and the air smells like smoke - wait, what? Turns out there was a fire in the house next to ours. Only a small one though apparently.

Comments

[sheron]

I know what you mean. I can work from home easily but am not a fan.

If you just need the "committed to someone for something" you could post some accountability checks here or something like that? even in private post, to keep a structure going. For me the harder thing is not being able to talk to my coworkers face to face. I quite enjoy that aspect of coming into the office.

[schneefink]

Not a bad idea. Privately wouldn't work, but maybe hours worked weekly?

I miss talking with my co-workers, and how easy it is to ask questions, and also the chocolate ;)

[sevilemar]

I miss talking to my coworkers, as well. I have taken to excessive chatting with everyone, instead. Since I am supposed to calm people down and make them not feel abandoned in their forced homeoffice, anyway, that works out well^^

[schneefink]

If we had a chat, I would be doing so much chatting ^^
I imagine that having to calm everyone else down can be taxing as well, I'm glad I'm not responsible for others in that regard.

[sevilemar]

Maybe you can ask if you could get one, it really helps^^

Calming others actually helps me write out my own fears, in a way. So it helps combating them in part. But yeah, in the moments that you need reassurance and structure yourself, it is taxing to give it instead.

[michelel72]

I don't feel like I have much more time, either, but I'm sleeping more.

Good luck with setting up a schedule to keep you on track!

[schneefink]

Sleeping more at least is positive :)
Thanks!

[tamsin]

Being lucky in some aspects doesn't mean things can't be sucky for you as well on other fronts! I'm sorry working at home is tough for you! Could you maybe try posting about what you plan to do/get done? Maybe having people here reading would help?

[schneefink]

In general it helps to have other people hold me accountable, but I don't like posting too much about it on DW, I worry that'd make my journal feel different to me. But maybe every week or so? I'll think about it.

[doctorskuld]

Yeah, I feel you on the need for an external structure. Luckily, I have so many meetings at work that usually provides, but yeah, if it weren't for that, or even between meetings, I definitely feel myself flagging sometimes.

Don't beat yourself up about it, working from home is hard. You're not the only one, it is normal.

[schneefink]

Most of the time it's reassuring to hear that other people struggle with working from home too, and conveniently it means that there's a lot of advice and tips out there. And then sometimes for no good reason it leads to an anxiety spiral of wondering if I'm exaggerating and is it really this difficult or am I just lazy etc. etc. *facepalm* (but virtual, without actually touching my face) (I'm bad at remembering not to touch my face)
But I'm hopeful it'll get better eventually, maybe even soon.

[nnozomi]

I work from home as a regular thing, and I'm used to it now enough to like it, but with the last few weeks, I've been kind of meeting my deadlines and otherwise doing things like watching terrible dramas online and reading absurd amounts of (mostly not terrible) fic to make my brain shut up.
One thing that helps for me is a lot of text-chat, mostly via Skype, with friends from my former workplace and so on; work-related queries along with jokes and kvetching and trading random comments, at intervals according to when each of us has time. You may be doing this already, and they haven't figured out how to send chocolate over Skype yet, but it does make more of a sense of connection.
tl;dr, working at home is hard, now is especially hard, it is also a thing that gets easier with time and workarounds, in my experience anyway. In any case, best wishes and take good care.

[schneefink]

Thanks! I think that more excuses to do non-work-related stuff during "office hours" (more than I already am, ahem) might not be a good idea... But today was already better than the last few days, so maybe I'm starting to figure it out :)

[gramarye1971]

I don't have a good work setup at home -- a dining table with uncomfortable chairs, basically -- so I've resisted telework options for ages. Even when I do freelancing, I usually take it elsewhere, because it's easier for me to self-regulate when other people are around. So even though my work is ideal for telework/WFH, I'm definitely struggling as well. Solidarity.

[schneefink]

That sounds hard! Sorry to hear you're struggling :(
I'm so lucky to at least have a decent setup (though if this goes on for much longer there are definitely a few things I would change - no idea if I could even get the things I want by then, guess we'll see. Maybe I should buy them now.)
Today I bought myself cookies as a reward for work done and that didn't make the work easier but at least I had cookies.

[sevilemar]

I am also struggling with homeoffice, mostly because it has taken over the desk part of my living room. I try to keep it as clean and clutter-free as I can, I try to establish routines (laptop closed, headphones hung on the screen, chair shoved under the table means work is done), but it's still there when I relax and my thoughts are drifting.

I also try not to have anything else on the desk, just my work stuff. I put a timer for breaks, so I can concentrate on work and still know that I will have a break soon. If concentration is getting worse, I am thinking about having a journal at hand where I can put every stray thought that is not work. It helps me with sleep sometimes, too.

It works more or less, but I don't know if itis sustainable. We'll see, I guess.

I noticed a lot more sirens around, and every time I have this tiny spike of fear, just for a second. It's annoying because it's not helpful at all! But I guess it's part of what makes us human.

[schneefink]

Sucks to have work invade your living space like that, hopefully it's not for long. The journal sounds like a good idea though, I might try that.