schneefink | SGA drabbles: The Atlantis Zoo

April first inspires silliness. Even more so from midnight to two am. A series of drabbles written for the

atlantisbigbang drabble tree.

It was all Ronon's fault. He was the one who had given Torren the toys for his birthday: a furry dragon, a dolphin with claws and a dragonfly with ten wings. Torren loved the animals; everyone else was just relieved that he hadn't got any knives.

("I'm not crazy," was Ronon's unimpressed response when Rodney mentioned this, with a distinct undertone of "Earthers obviously are.")

Then Teyla had started to buy toy animals off-world, Ronon gathered wood to carve new ones, John made pictures, and suddenly Atlantis was famous for Torren's toy zoo collection. The elephants were a big hit.

*

It became traditional for visiting off-world dignitaries to bring a toy when visiting Atlantis. Torren must be the most spoiled child in history, Rodney lamented occasionally. (He took it back when Harmony visited and offered her services as a babysitter. For two seconds Teyla looked like she might consider the idea.)

Woolsey approved of a play room that also functioned as a toy animal museum. It was a good investment: IOA reviews showed that trade agreements were far more favourable for Atlantis when concluded in the game room.

It only got really crazy when people started bringing their own children.

*

"We're a space station in another galaxy, not a kindergarten!" Rodney protested the first time.

"Rodney," John hissed, "shut up and tell the nice Minister that of course his little daughter can play with the elephants while we buy almost-coffee beans."

Rodney shut up immediately.

They ended up with nearly twice as many beans as anticipated, probably because the Minister's daughter accidentally broke the giraffe's neck.

"No, Rodney, you may not deliberately place giraffe toys in dangerous positions when they visit again," Teyla said firmly.

Rodney was sure she'd change her mind when they were trading for her favourite food.

*

"Sheppard," Ladon Radim said, baring his teeth. "If one hair on his head is harmed…"

"Whoa," John protested, raising his hands. "Nobody said you had to bring your son! No need to get protective."

"He wants to see the zoo animals," Ladon admitted grudgingly. "I could not persuade him otherwise."

The boy was staring wide-eyed at the gateroom windows, looking awed and a little lost. Torren, who had developed an uncanny instinct for new playmates, ignored the adults and went to him immediately.

"Hey," he said brightly, "do you want to see my dragons?"

Torren had a talent for diplomacy.

*

"Nice place you got here."

John, lying on his back and demonstrating how penguins walk to three Traveller kids, froze. "General," he said weakly.

"Don't mind me," Jack O'Neill said and picked up a carved nikshana - a big spiky lizard with wings that Ronon swore actually existed.

"Um."

"Don't worry, Colonel," Jack said and waved him down when John tried to sit up, "This is completely unofficial. I'm here to, what did Daniel say… "find out how to copy their trading success at the SGC without getting Carter pregnant." I don't think he'd had enough coffee that morning, actually."

*
ETA: Now with bonus Todd.