schneefink | Busy week

I had a busy week! (Today is also busy, but I'm taking a break. In my pyjamas at 1pm. What.)

Monday was the second choir practice this semester. We're 85 people and I know perhaps ten names, this is going to be hard. But I think the songs we're singing are pretty cool :) There'll even be a choreography element. I'm really looking forward to it.

One of the new people is a girl from Canada who just moved here a month ago and speaks barely any German, so I translated for her a bit. She said she's from Alberta, so I decided to use my knowledge of Canadian stereotypes and asked her "Oilers or Flames?" Flames, and apparently it's a big topic in her family because she has relatives in Edmonton and they even dress strategically when they skype. I also told her about the Dan Radcliffe quote "If you want to annoy a Canadian, when they say 'hockey', ask 'you mean ice hockey?'", and apparently it's completely true because she went on a three minute rant. I loved it.

I'm the last person in my family not to get sick this autumn, I only have a bit of a sore throat. Let's hope it stays that way.

I got some work done - I actually met my goal for the day on Wednesday! That was a fantastic feeling, I could do what I wanted in the evening without feeling guilty. That happens very rarely.

On Thursday I met with a friend at uni to study. I had a bad day, but with her help I at least got some writing done, which is good :) Not as much as I wanted, but in hindsight I had my expectations set waaay too high.

Then I went to a two hour meeting on debate tournament tabbing, came home around midnight, and I knew I had to get up early on Friday. So I exercised a lot of self-control and didn't watch the Pens season opener against the Ducks. I "just" got up half an hour earlier on Friday to watch the highlights on dtmts.

6-3 against the Ducks! Duper with four points in his comeback, Sid with almost a hatty, Hornqvist and Comeau with their first goals as Pens, Maatta with three points! Friday was a long day, but every time I felt down I reminded myself of the 6-3 win and was excited again. Yeees! My excitement about this hockey team is not rational, but it makes me happy. (When they don't lose in the playoffs. Shut up.) Literal flailing and everything. I haven't even seen the interviews yet, I'm scrolling down my Tumblr dash to find the game gifs, I want to watch the highlights again, and I really hope I'll find a place to download games. (Tips?)
Leafs today! And I'll probably sleep again, because I need it. (Otoh it's Saturday? Let's see how much I get done today.)
NHL hockey is back!

Friday morning I participated in a debating workshop for school students (unfortunately my group of students wasn't really engaged and the topic I was given wasn't good, but whatever.) Then I met with LK and AV, we went shopping, cooked, went to IvB's birthday party, and then left early to watch the end of Bab5 season 1. It was fantastic. Details in a different post because otherwise this'll take too long.

It's LB's birthday today. The present I ordered him still hasn't arrived even though I paid for express shipping :( He also didn't let me hug him, because *coughs* I might have forgotten his age during the birthday song. In my defense I sometimes forget my own age and I had very little sleep! But still.
I still need to buy the ingredients for the cake tomorrow.

I also have a list of OTW things to do, plus high goals for studying and some other minor stuff.

One of those, an unexpected thing, is that I found out that CP, a good friend from the debating society, makes FB posts against feminism. I know it's most likely a definition problem mostly, but it still hurt. Feminism is for me the belief that women should be equal to men, and it also respects the fact that this is currently not the case. So if someone is against feminism I feel disrespected and also less safe.
We're both debaters, so we should be able to discuss it rationally. (LK and AV said they already tried...) I have to try, because it's important to me, and I'm optimistic that I can convince him. But it's unpleasant and unexpectedly stressful.

Btw, I'm also writing fic! Several hundred words this week in response to a kinkmeme prompt. I was very surprised, but I like it.

So, I should probably get started. Maybe by getting dressed.

Crossposts: http://schneefink.livejournal.com/95085.html

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

which

Have you ever noticed that some athiests have a very, very specific god they don't believe in? Like, I know for a fact that there is no god because the god my parents believe in makes no sense?

I think it's like that with feminism. People have some paradigmatic "feminist" in their head who hates and despises them and has a structural edge if they choose to do ill, and they're more than willing to point out real world women who they think confirm all their prejudices, thank you.

You're not going to convince them that there are a world of perfectly reasonable men and women who really, truly are not trying to fix things specifically to screw them over, not because they're not capable of reason, but because asking them to shed that portion of their self-definition is an act of oppression (which just proves their point).

So, good luck with that, and I hope your friend is capable of better, although attacking female overreach on freaking Facebook is kinda not promising, JMO.

And yes, I too have a very specific anti-feminist. Does it show? :(

Me, I have a deep and abiding dislike and suspicion of isms, and I resisted calling myself a feminist for years when I was a teenager, but in the end I dislike people who are hostile to feminism way more than I dislike labeling myself. It's apparently effortless for my daughter.

From:

schneefink

I'm pretty sure I know where his dislike of feminism is coming from. It's frustrating in general, but he's my friend, and he's a debater: I expected better. Debaters are supposed to examine their opinions, listen to arguments, consider different PoVs, and be open to changing their minds. We are trained in this.

(Not always enough of the latter, unfortunately. And admittedly many debaters fail at taking these skills outside of the debating room and applying them in the real world. And he's only been debating for one year.)

So in this case either I'm wrong (and I'm extremely convinced that I'm not), or he hasn't taken the time to consider the arguments (meaning willful ignorance and denial), or the arguments haven't been presented well enough. I hope it's #3, but it's probably also #2.

My problem with feminism is mostly with the movement, which is in several ways deeply flawed, for example the insufficient acknowledgement of the importance of intersectionality. I disagree with some of the ways the label is used.

But I agree with the overall goals and I think the term as it is is important, despite and because of the resistance it faces. The term "feminism" has a weight and meaning behind it that "equalism" can never have. (Other reasons "equalism" is not a good idea: proponents often disrespect or deny the problems women face, and/or want to change the focus of the movement, and it's also the perfect word for easy lip service.)

I'm a feminist, and I wear the label openly: I consider the act of calling myself a feminist, instead of "just" pursuing the goal of equality, to be political. (I wish we lived in a society where it's not, but not yet.)

I don't expect all reasonable people to necessarily call themselves feminists, also because of the political aspect (though I would like that and I think it's the right thing to do), but I expect them to respect feminism and to agree with its basic premise and goal.

I'll see how it goes with CP...

From:

which

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<a href=""http://www.vulture.com/2014/10/all-about-intersectionality-at-comic-con.html">because the universe is like that</a>, apparently feminism and intersectionality is a hot issue at NY Comic Con this year.

From:

schneefink

That's very cool! Thanks for the link.

From:

schneefink

Result of first discussion:
"No, i do not deny that women are disadvantaged to men in some areas. But it is clear just as much that men are disadvantaged to women in ways no different in other areas.
Furthermore, i deny that a discrimination against women is systemic to our society or to the male sex."

What do I even DO with that. I don't even know where to start. (And his girlfriend, also a friend who I judged to be very smart, agrees with him.)

From:

which

I couldn't tell you. The obvious answer is to ask which of those disadvantages involves death and poverty and physical abuse and lack of freedom, which are worldwide and structural and encoded into law and which involves feefees and the dire threat of not getting everything you want because you want it, but it sounds like those waves are going to break against a cliff of unexamined privilege.

Edited Date: 2014-10-12 10:35 am (UTC)

From:

jae

"If you want to annoy a Canadian, when they say 'hockey', ask 'you mean ice hockey?'", and apparently it's completely true because she went on a three minute rant. I loved it.

I don't go on a rant, but I do always respond: "Wenn du darauf bestehst, Hockey 'Eishockey' zu nennen, dann nenne ich Fußball künftig 'Feldfußball'." ;)

I am from where your choir friend is from, by the way. :)

-J

From:

schneefink

"Feldfußball" as opposed to what? ;)
It works in English, where you have American football etc., but I can't think of a possible disambiguation in German.

Canadian beaver! I'd try to pay less attention to Canadian stereotypes, really, if I ever got the impression that they mind. ;)

From:

jae

You could play Fußball on any surface, if you wanted to! On ice! On concrete! On moonrock! If you really need that disambiguation, at least be consistent about it. *g*

Tangentially: did you know that there's Canadian football too? Different from Fußball, but also different from American football. (Our little secret: we like being confusing.)

Even more tangentially: Since you are now a hockey fan, I should let you in on the little secret that several of the Oilers apparently live in my building... :)

-J

From:

schneefink

Fußball on ice, the thought of all the potential injuries makes me wince. But on sand would probably really good for conditioning training.. ^^

No I didn't, interesting.

Neat. (Several of them in the same building? Coincidence or team-assigned housing?)
Are you an Oilers fan? I'm sorry ;)

From:

jae

I'm not an Oilers fan, don't worry (I don't think I could ever root for any sports team in anything--I don't care enough about sports and the patriotism of it kind of makes me wince). :)

It's not team-assigned housing, but it is a building where there are several luxury apartments that can be rented (at exhorbitant rates, much more than our mortgage payment) for only part of the year. And it's also within easy walking distance of pubs, clubs, and nice restaurants, and a short train ride from the place where they play, so!

-J