Who I was at 16
Sep. 19th, 2015 11:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
schneefinkHow it works: you comment saying you want to do the meme, I give you an age (please tell me how old you currently are as well, because I can never remember how old people are), and you fill out the meme questions with what applied to you back then, and what applies to you now.
naye gave me 16, so 2007 (my birthday is in January.) I added a bit to the replies.
I didn't keep a diary most of the time when I was sixteen, but I started again on January 1st 2008. I'm just going to copy&translate the first entry:
"So, I managed after all: at least start in the new year. I bought this [diary] at the end of October, but kept forgetting.
A short introduction: My name doesn't matter or you already know it. I'm still 16, but only for 25 more days.
2007 was the best year of my life that I can remember. From January to June (approximately exactly five months) I was in Galway, Ireland, and the rest was also very nice. In December I got contact lenses and I usually wear my hair open now. I still have tendonitis.
I still like to read, but not as much anymore, instead also more in English and on the computer. I barely get to write anymore, or rather it currently doesn't interest me as much anymore. Instead [my little brother] tries, partially successfully, to infect me with the chess virus. I like to sing and very much enjoy learning to dance.
In school I still get good marks, but I also have to study a lot for that. The winter holidays were especially difficult. Are, to be precise. Tomorrow I still have time, after that I go to "Sing Days" on […] But it will be okay.
That just as an intro."
Background, 14 and 15 weren't very good years. I didn't have many friends in school and was feeling pretty isolated. In hindsight how down I was at 14 and 15 was probably also a side-effect of puberty, even though at the time I didn't see it as that because everyone said puberty came with having arguments with your parents and I didn't have that problem at all. (That came much later.)
In Galway I met a lot of new people who liked me and that in turn gave me more self-confidence. At first not necessarily in school: most other students were in groups I wasn't a part of, I think we were less than a handful of girls in my year who didn't wear heavy make-up. But the teachers were nice and I spent a lot of enjoyable lunch breaks playing cards with the other awkward kids. I became a member of the church choir, where I was iirc the only person under 50 and had a great time, I spend a lot of time with the other exchange students living with the same host family (I think there were eight of us at one time, plus four kids – it was a really big house), and I went on trips and walks and had a good time on my own too.
When I got back to Vienna I was a lot more relaxed about social things, and I think I also got better at figuring them out. For a time I became more religious, that was the influence of the excellent religion teacher in Galway (I went to a Jesuits' school, and we actually read and talked about the bible) and the church choir and my friend the nun etc., and I became more active in my local parish. I made more friends outside of school, like in my parish and in dancing class and so on. In general I just felt better about life than in the previous years.
I lived in:
I lived with my parents, in an outer district of Vienna.
I drove:
Public transport.
I was in a relationship with:
Nobody, and I was perfectly fine with that. I hadn't figured out my sexuality yet because I just didn't think about it. In hindsight I think one or two guys were flirting with me, but I honestly didn't notice or didn't understand. Some of my best friends were boys!, of course we went to movies etc. together. I met one of them again a year or so after school and he made it clearer and tried to persuade me to sleep with him (he started with strip poker) and I was so disappointed.
I feared:
Early 16, loneliness and not having any friends. After Ireland not much, I was feeling pretty brave.
I worked at:
I was school student.
I wanted to be:
I had no idea, but I wasn't worried, I still had time to figure it out. The only thing I knew for sure was that I was going to go to university.
8 years later:
I live in:
My own apartment! Still in Vienna, but not as far out anymore, about ten minutes from the city center by underground.
I drive:
I have a driving license but no car, and I don't really need one. Sometimes I drive with my parents' car, an over twelve year old white Mazda Kombi.
I am in a relationship with:
Nobody, but by now I think I'd like to be.
I fear:
Copying this one fromnaye because it's accurate: Global warming. Rising fascism. Horrible politicians ruining everything for everyone except rich white men.
For me personally, that my depression gets worse again and I never manage to get out of it.
I work at:
I'm finishing my bachelor's degree and after that I'm looking for work. I don't know what kind though. I just want to work for two years or so and then go back to uni, and it's comforting to know that I don't have to find something perfect because it'll be short-term.
I want to be:
I don't know yet. I think I'd enjoy doing something that has to do with teaching and explaining things, except I don't want to be a teacher because the conditions for teachers here are not good. I'm currently not too worried about finding something.
naye gave me 16, so 2007 (my birthday is in January.) I added a bit to the replies.I didn't keep a diary most of the time when I was sixteen, but I started again on January 1st 2008. I'm just going to copy&translate the first entry:
"So, I managed after all: at least start in the new year. I bought this [diary] at the end of October, but kept forgetting.
A short introduction: My name doesn't matter or you already know it. I'm still 16, but only for 25 more days.
2007 was the best year of my life that I can remember. From January to June (approximately exactly five months) I was in Galway, Ireland, and the rest was also very nice. In December I got contact lenses and I usually wear my hair open now. I still have tendonitis.
I still like to read, but not as much anymore, instead also more in English and on the computer. I barely get to write anymore, or rather it currently doesn't interest me as much anymore. Instead [my little brother] tries, partially successfully, to infect me with the chess virus. I like to sing and very much enjoy learning to dance.
In school I still get good marks, but I also have to study a lot for that. The winter holidays were especially difficult. Are, to be precise. Tomorrow I still have time, after that I go to "Sing Days" on […] But it will be okay.
That just as an intro."
Background, 14 and 15 weren't very good years. I didn't have many friends in school and was feeling pretty isolated. In hindsight how down I was at 14 and 15 was probably also a side-effect of puberty, even though at the time I didn't see it as that because everyone said puberty came with having arguments with your parents and I didn't have that problem at all. (That came much later.)
In Galway I met a lot of new people who liked me and that in turn gave me more self-confidence. At first not necessarily in school: most other students were in groups I wasn't a part of, I think we were less than a handful of girls in my year who didn't wear heavy make-up. But the teachers were nice and I spent a lot of enjoyable lunch breaks playing cards with the other awkward kids. I became a member of the church choir, where I was iirc the only person under 50 and had a great time, I spend a lot of time with the other exchange students living with the same host family (I think there were eight of us at one time, plus four kids – it was a really big house), and I went on trips and walks and had a good time on my own too.
When I got back to Vienna I was a lot more relaxed about social things, and I think I also got better at figuring them out. For a time I became more religious, that was the influence of the excellent religion teacher in Galway (I went to a Jesuits' school, and we actually read and talked about the bible) and the church choir and my friend the nun etc., and I became more active in my local parish. I made more friends outside of school, like in my parish and in dancing class and so on. In general I just felt better about life than in the previous years.
I lived in:
I lived with my parents, in an outer district of Vienna.
I drove:
Public transport.
I was in a relationship with:
Nobody, and I was perfectly fine with that. I hadn't figured out my sexuality yet because I just didn't think about it. In hindsight I think one or two guys were flirting with me, but I honestly didn't notice or didn't understand. Some of my best friends were boys!, of course we went to movies etc. together. I met one of them again a year or so after school and he made it clearer and tried to persuade me to sleep with him (he started with strip poker) and I was so disappointed.
I feared:
Early 16, loneliness and not having any friends. After Ireland not much, I was feeling pretty brave.
I worked at:
I was school student.
I wanted to be:
I had no idea, but I wasn't worried, I still had time to figure it out. The only thing I knew for sure was that I was going to go to university.
8 years later:
I live in:
My own apartment! Still in Vienna, but not as far out anymore, about ten minutes from the city center by underground.
I drive:
I have a driving license but no car, and I don't really need one. Sometimes I drive with my parents' car, an over twelve year old white Mazda Kombi.
I am in a relationship with:
Nobody, but by now I think I'd like to be.
I fear:
Copying this one from
naye because it's accurate: Global warming. Rising fascism. Horrible politicians ruining everything for everyone except rich white men.For me personally, that my depression gets worse again and I never manage to get out of it.
I work at:
I'm finishing my bachelor's degree and after that I'm looking for work. I don't know what kind though. I just want to work for two years or so and then go back to uni, and it's comforting to know that I don't have to find something perfect because it'll be short-term.
I want to be:
I don't know yet. I think I'd enjoy doing something that has to do with teaching and explaining things, except I don't want to be a teacher because the conditions for teachers here are not good. I'm currently not too worried about finding something.
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Date: 2015-09-19 07:39 pm (UTC)I am also interested that I had no idea you were that young when you started writing for the Genficathon, which I think was how I first met you (or generally in SGA-related activities around that time). Not that there's any reason why you shouldn't, and I know there were at least a couple other people who were about the same age (like frith-in-thorns). Still, it throws me off a bit because I think I had assumed you were early 20s or something at the time. :D
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Date: 2015-09-20 03:27 pm (UTC)I just realized that the "Sing Days" the diary entry above mentions are where I met the friend who shortly afterwards introduced me to SGA. If I meet her again I should get her a gift basket or something.