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LB and feminism
Mar. 13th, 2011 04:44 pmThis week I had surprisingly many discussions about feminism-related topics. One about child custody, one about gendered spelling, one about a women's quota in supervisory boards and yesterday was the strangest because LB thought he was talking about unclear phrasing in an article and didn't get that he sounded like he was dismissing violence against women. And also a few talks about the negative image of feminism and what is considered modern feminism. I'm tired. (Mostly because of my wonky sleep rhythm and study workload, but this didn't help.)
When arguing with my father (moderate conservative) I always "lose": he went to law school and later went into business law, he's well versed in politics and media, and he can argue well. Even in the topics where he doesn't "win" by default because he knows far more about them (how to argue for or against a law if one doesn't know exactly what the current legal situation is and what exactly the law would change?) he always brings up good points that I have trouble countering. Which is good! It makes me think and teaches me about the other side and stuff. It is frustrating at times, especially when I know I'm right but can't communicate it, can't convince him because I can't argue well enough, but I know what to expect. Anyway I'm getting better.
Talking with LB about it is different. LB recently started complaining about a teacher who constantly talks about sexism against women in two different subjects: it was getting boring, he already got it thank you very much, discrimination against men was not addressed at all, and it felt like the boys in the class were being directly accused of being sexist pigs. (Having had the same teacher myself I agree that she is occasionally boring and repetitive.)
Now LB and I grew up fairly sheltered (white middle-class academics' kids who kept to themselves, never had difficulties in school etc.) I know that he grew up thinking and is convinced that women and men are equal, but he doesn't get exactly how much this is still not the case. He sees the difference in wages, but not the difference in perception. He thinks women should not get jobs instead of better qualified men just because of a quota, but doesn't understand how many men get jobs instead of better qualified women just because of their genitalia already. When he talks about "male plurals always automatically refer to men and women equally" I shake my head about his idealism. When I talk about sexism in society he feels defensive and brings up examples of discrimination against men.
I want to make him get this, I really do - he's smart, he's for equality, he's my brother - but I don't know how. I sent him two links, Privilege 101 and The Male Privilege Checklist (and also some statistics about domestic violence and violence against women because seriously, "I don't know what kind of violence they were talking about, maybe some of them considered storming out of the house violent?" is not an appropriate response to "one quarter of women experience violence at least once".)
He hasn't reacted yet. I'm looking forward to the next discussion.
If LB doesn't get it I have little hope for society in general -.-
When arguing with my father (moderate conservative) I always "lose": he went to law school and later went into business law, he's well versed in politics and media, and he can argue well. Even in the topics where he doesn't "win" by default because he knows far more about them (how to argue for or against a law if one doesn't know exactly what the current legal situation is and what exactly the law would change?) he always brings up good points that I have trouble countering. Which is good! It makes me think and teaches me about the other side and stuff. It is frustrating at times, especially when I know I'm right but can't communicate it, can't convince him because I can't argue well enough, but I know what to expect. Anyway I'm getting better.
Talking with LB about it is different. LB recently started complaining about a teacher who constantly talks about sexism against women in two different subjects: it was getting boring, he already got it thank you very much, discrimination against men was not addressed at all, and it felt like the boys in the class were being directly accused of being sexist pigs. (Having had the same teacher myself I agree that she is occasionally boring and repetitive.)
Now LB and I grew up fairly sheltered (white middle-class academics' kids who kept to themselves, never had difficulties in school etc.) I know that he grew up thinking and is convinced that women and men are equal, but he doesn't get exactly how much this is still not the case. He sees the difference in wages, but not the difference in perception. He thinks women should not get jobs instead of better qualified men just because of a quota, but doesn't understand how many men get jobs instead of better qualified women just because of their genitalia already. When he talks about "male plurals always automatically refer to men and women equally" I shake my head about his idealism. When I talk about sexism in society he feels defensive and brings up examples of discrimination against men.
I want to make him get this, I really do - he's smart, he's for equality, he's my brother - but I don't know how. I sent him two links, Privilege 101 and The Male Privilege Checklist (and also some statistics about domestic violence and violence against women because seriously, "I don't know what kind of violence they were talking about, maybe some of them considered storming out of the house violent?" is not an appropriate response to "one quarter of women experience violence at least once".)
He hasn't reacted yet. I'm looking forward to the next discussion.
If LB doesn't get it I have little hope for society in general -.-
