schneefink: (FF Kaylee in hammock)
I had a very productive day today! I went to the library in the morning (I was there shortly after ten, some days that's when I wake up), stayed there for three hours and actually studied for almost half of that time, which is a very good percentage for me; then I had a therapist appointment, and afterwards I went to a friend's for lunch and watching The Avengers with a new debater & now friend who hadn't seen it before, then we talked about various stuff including choirs in Vienna, and then I came home and wrote some emails I had to. It feels good! But I'm also very tired. Not in a bad way, just out of energy. And I have a full schedule for tomorrow, I'll see how it goes.

The great thing is that the material I'm studying is actually becoming interesting again, or more accurately I'm becoming interested in it again, that makes everything easier.
Also the fact that some of the articles are hilarious. Favorite parts include (paraphrased) "if businessmen feel free to ignore the law it'll be kinda hard to build a functioning (market) economy, just saying", and the chapter "look, we know they're lying about the data, they know that we know they're lying about the data, we just can't figure out which data they were lying about how much, and we're presenting it anyway just to be polite."

This weekend my good friend E. came back from the US after five months & we met yesterday, it was great to finally see her again :)

My marvel_bang YA dystopia is coming along: I'm still editing parts of the outline (I need to read Children's Crusade again, I think), but in general I know what I want to do & I'm pretty sure I can do it, and so far it's a lot of fun.
schneefink: (FF Kaylee in hammock)
Placeholder for the triumphant "I did it!" post I will make BEFORE MIDNIGHT when I finally finish the first chapter of my bachelor's thesis and send it to my professor. (Actually the deadline was probably yesterday but she said "before Christmas" so it probably technically still counts and who tries to grade papers on the 23rd anyway.)
I could have gone to Worlds Debate Preparation events yesterday and today but I didn't because I had to work, and I had to work because last week I was sooo good at procrastinating and not working, and to be honest I still am that's why it's going so slow (only 8 pages, I used to be able to do that in two days, now not so much.) Consolation prize, I gave the first part to my mother to read and she was impressed, so that's something?
Argh, I'm starting to write anything just so I don't have to go back to work AGAIN, I suck.

ETA: 23:57 and the first draft is done! Now I just have to read through it again to make sure I didn't forget something important (who cares for Becker anyway.) And maybe eat something, even though it's too late. But then, sleep!

ETA: 1:29, DONE. I could have written more about the gender wage gap, but eh, whatever, and I can always put it in the next chapter. (Because there will be a next chapter. And a next chapter. Until March. But I can do this because maybe in the meantime I will remember how to do actual work instead of more procrastination? That would be nice.) I should probably not post stuff when I'm this tired. Tomorrow night is Christmas, yay!
schneefink: River walking among trees, from "Safe" (Default)
The subject line is partially a lie. Not really, because fandom can make most things more fun and can cheer me up like few other things, but because of fandom I also spent the whole weekend doing nothing (but internet-surfing) even though I have three exams this week and two papers to write. Half of it due today/tomorrow. Let's just say that I didn't sleep much the last two nights, I don't think I ever failed an exam that was so easy this badly, and I feel incredibly stupid.
But! The next paper I have to hand in is for Labor Economics. The professor said to pick any scientific article related to that topic, sum it up, and then add our own opinion. Not very hard (I can read&write very quickly, usually), and also: I can pick an interesting topic. At that time I was following the OTW Election discussions, so I chose an article about volunteer labor. It's one of those articles that writes down things you vaguely know anyway and then categorizes it. For example they decided on four types of volunteer labor, with one of them being "virtual volunteering". Only their form of virtual volunteering doesn't match what I know (OTW&DW) at all. I'm aware that both DW and the OTW are probably exceptional in their use of volunteers, even better. For some reason I'm very excited to be able to use something fannish for university! I might even be able to finish this before midnight and actually get some sleep, who knows... Depending on how distracted I get this time.
(I'm looking forward to the seminar on media studies. I hope it'll be good.)
/stop procrastinating (again) and get back to work, stupid
schneefink: River walking among trees, from "Safe" (Default)
It is extremely annoying that the words "economics" and "economist" have their accents on different syllables. Just saying.

I'm currently taking a course called "Political economics and history of economic theory" - a brief overview of important economic theories, from mercantilism to globalization. The topic is interesting, the class itself is boring. But! We have to do presentations and essays, each group is presenting one major theory. And in a moment of insight I chose "feminist economics".

This is the most interesting topic I've so far encountered during my studies. It's fascinating. To understand where feminist economics comes from one has to start with feminism in general, feminist theory of/in science and so on. Of course, almost every other group got a nice, succinct overview of their topic from our professor as a starting point (you can't expect undergraduate students to think for themselves, after all!), except the ecological economics group and us. So we actually had to inform ourselves, look for information, read source material and the like.

It's difficult, not the usual easy textbook reading. But that's great! I finally get the sense that I can evaluate for myself what they are saying, because I don't only see it through the lenses of someone else. I can read different opinions. I'm educating myself, instead of just repeating everything our professors tell us. It feels great.

And so much of what they're saying makes so much sense! The first economics classes we had was only neoclassical theory, and it was presented as "this is economics, period." With axioms that just - didn't apply to the real world, but apparently nobody saw it. To be honest, that was one of the main reasons why I decided not to study economics.

Feminist economics criticizes neoclassical theories - finally! Sure, there are others who did/do the same, but I didn't know about them. Or they got mentioned in passing, but obviously everyone still believes in neoclassical theory, so it must be right, or at least they don't have anything better. It's wonderful to read the vague doubts I had articulated and argued and elaborated on. And the material I'm reading is not "this is the way we have to do it", but "some do it this way, some choose this approach, (but I do so-and-so)" etc., which, again, makes me feel much less indoctrinated. (There are so many different approaches! And even more different feminist schools of thought! Wow.)

Anecdote: To start with I looked, again, at some Feminism 101 articles I had bookmarked. Much of what I found I was already familiar with, and I'd only occasionally and unsystematically deliberately read about feminism before. Most of what I knew I knew through fandom. I <3 fandom.

I'm still not finished with the book I'm currently reading. I now know approximately what post-structuralism is and I can't wait to find out what she does with it in the later chapters - I can't remember when I last found a book I had to read for university this interesting. And when I finish this book I want to find another book in which the first one is commented on and criticized, and then one that compares the two, and then I'll miss the deadline for submitting the paper.

The weird flipside is that I'm - kind of annoyed, and a tiny little bit ashamed, that I didn't know much of this already. Because it's important. But I think that's another fandom effect: there are so many extremely smart people in fandom, and I want to be that smart, too. Heh. Maybe in many, many years.

We have to write an essay about our topic, 10 pages. Sooo easy (once I manage to sit down and start to write, and find the time, because there are only ten different things I also have to do.) I'm almost sure I want to do something with this topic for my undergraduate thesis, I only need to find a professor (not this one.)

Now dinner, and then some more feminist standpoint theory.
schneefink: River walking among trees, from "Safe" (Default)
How many of me does it take to change a lightbulb? One. *feels accomplished*

For the longest time I felt younger than I was. When I was 18 I felt like 16, when I was 19 I felt like 17. Now I'm 20, in words: twenty (the mind boggles) and I feel like 19. Relatively speaking I grew up. How did that happen?

I'm taking eight courses this semester. I don't know what I was thinking. That's a lie, I know exactly what I was thinking: last semester I took six courses and had a lot of free time left. However, the courses I'm taking now are a lot more work. But I will succeed! Somehow. Only because most of the courses are actually really interesting, even econometrics. And I'm meeting nice people and most lecturers are okay or good, which is a relief. The downside is the studying, studying, studying. (It's always the same with good intentions, but I'm trying very hard.)

I'm still having fun in the choir, and also in the debate club. I went to debate club for the first time about two weeks ago and it's wonderful. I'm planning to make a post about it (tentatively titled "Orgies For Everyone" and yes, this is totally relevant to the topic) to share my excitement with everyone and maybe spare my family, but every time I start I fail to convey all the fun and awesomeness that is debate club.

My fic for the genficathon is very stubborn. I really have to work on it, and every day I find another plothole. On good days I can resolve one. This method leads to moments such as "what do you mean, that's my main conflict? I just added that element for fun two days ago!" and "wait, does that mean I actually need a resolution for that?" (Answer: yes. Still looking for it) and "do I really need to have full personalities for twenty OCs?" (Answer: hopefully not.) But it's fun! It has the potential to become a good story. I only hope I can finish a rough draft in time to be considered for fanart.

I feel comfortable in my little world bubble. Every day I can only take so much looking at the world at large - Japan, Libya... I pray the situation for the people there gets better soon.
schneefink: River walking among trees, from "Safe" (Default)
I´m trying out Structured Procrastination - I don´t know who linked to it, but thanks. I´m not sure if it works yet, but at least it made me organize my (too long) to-do-list (somwhat.)

Random things happening in my life:

- My brain is constantly switching between "I´ll never get this stuff done oh my God how am I supposed to do this I need a timeturner I´m DOOMED" and "It´s not so bad, really, and look at all the things I´ve already done! I can do this!"
The former comes much more naturally.

- Related, we had a lecture about "Appreciative Inquiry" on Friday. The conditions that make me get stuff done: stress, being responsible and afraid of letting people down, no internet access. Hmm.

- Group work at university is very educational. Mostly it teaches me how to deal with different levels of in-/competence. For example in group W I quickly snagged a topic I can write about with minimal interference from the others, group S works together perfectly but none of them can spell and in group P I became the undisputed leader by being the only one even remotely prepared.

- Once upon a time I thought that university students, especially those who are already past the two entry semesters, are interested and committed and hard-working and also possess at least basic intelligence. I also thought university professors are all very smart and know what they are talking about. Ahahahaha.

- I am making new friends! Or at least I´m making a lot of acquaintances with the potential to become friends, both at university and in my new choir, and I also meet old friends more often. This is amazing. I feel like I was stuck in solitary space during the last year.

- Choir! :D

- I may be, potentially, possibly, be writing something. Or not, I only have 300 words, but I really really want to write this. It´ll be a challenge, though.

- I´ll apply for a exchange semester in Moscow! Mostly so I don´t forget my Russian, but it would be a wonderful adventure.

- I went to see the new Harry Potter yesterday. Not really a spoiler, but just in case )

- Why is it that fitness centers never have the prices on their websites? I need it for this stupid paper!

- We have a design for this year´s Christmas cards! They´ll look great. (If I remember) I´ll put up a post asking who wants one when I know if we actually have cards to spare - we are notoriously bad at estimating how many we´ll need.

- Christmas markets! This summer in Krakow was the first time I bought jewelry for myself - before that I only ever got stuff as presents. I now have two new long colorful necklaces (one wood and one with feutre balls I´m constantly playing with) and a pair of small blue earrings. Pretty.

So how are you doing?
schneefink: River walking among trees, from "Safe" (Default)
August was awesome. Two weeks holidays in Poland - Krakow, Warsaw and Gdánsk are beautiful, we went sailing (!!) and canoeing (!!!), pirogi taste great and I tried ten different kinds, and it was just all around fun. So many beautiful images! And a surprising amount of storks.
Bonus: I´d bought myself "Good Omens" as a reward for working in July and I must have read it at least three times in two weeks. "On the top of the pile a rather large octopus waved a languid tentacle at them. The sergeant resisted the temptation to wave back." Awww. I love that book so much.

Then one week singing camp, which was wonderful. Choir, and classic ensemble, and dance ensemble, and so many wonderful people being happy and excited together, and the music! So many beautiful songs. We did lots of film music with the full choir: "Circle of Life" from Lion King, the Mission Impossible and the James Bond theme, for example, but also beautiful church music, especially the Mendelssohn. That one and the Schubert psalm 23 in the classic ensemble were my favourites. The concert went well, too. I hope the CD comes earlier than last year! I even got a t-shirt and a button. :-)

I´ll do the Accounting and Management Control II exam again in October. While I´m not studying as much as I planned to, I´m not doing too badly, and I´m quite sure I´ll pass. The key is doing many, many practice questions. And then I can do the more interesting courses! (Well, I still have to do Human Resource Management and Logistics, but I´m ignoring it.) I´ve also finally decided to study Socioeconomics instead of Economics. It covers (more or less) exactly what I wanted to learn when I started studying at the University of Economics and Business in the first place: how our economy and our society work and intersect with each other. Maybe I´ll do the Masters, maybe I´ll study Law later on, but for now I´m very happy with that choice.

I met with friends, I even went out for the first time in months (the clubs were okay, but the grill party was awesome). LB is back from the Math olympiad. I went to a film music concert (dress rehearsal; PotC music!) and tomorrow evening I´ll go to a violin concert. Tomorrow morning I´ll go with a friend to apply for a sports + sauna course, the week after that I´ll audition for a choir and the week after that is Museums´ Night. I´m doing well. :)

PS: I think I´ve figured out crossposting and it looks much easier than I´d thought, yay!
schneefink: River walking among trees, from "Safe" (Default)
I´m quite sure it´s not good that during study week my daily internet average was six hours. I won´t go into me feeling guilty all the time etc., this is about the awesome and totally undeserved things: I passed my maths exam! With the bare minimum, but I passed (and I only studied two days. I love my brain.)
And I passed the economics exam! I think I´ll even get a good grade on this one; the topic is much more interesting than maths. Not that maths isn´t interesting. LB would come after me with the kitchen knife.

I also bravely fought a ninja spider. It sat on the wall in my room, shiny black and larger than a thumb´s width, and when I tried to catch it with a tissue it swung through the air like an aerial acrobat and hid under my laptop. I lifted the laptop and it did a very dramatic somersault to the floor and attempted to hide under the table, but I caught it and threw it out of the window (still alive!) in an elegant curve. The whole thing was very action-movie-like.

So the day after tomorrow I have another exam, the biggest, and I only studied a little so far - none of which today, I do not know what happened, oh wait, I got lost on the internet again - and I don´t think I´ll pass, but I´ll try and I won´t be overly depressed if I do fail. (Because I know that it´s not because I´m stupid but because I fail at organisation and also I´m an internet addict. I have so many plans to do better next semester! Some of them might even succeed.) Then I start my probably stressful but hopefully awesome or at least interesting summer job, then two weeks holiday in Poland and one week singing camp (all of that should be good for detox, too.)

More randomness, I fought off an angina and a cold at the same time and can finally speak again, I hate antibiotics, I love that it´s warm enough to wear skirts again, and I´m really curious about the demonstration against our stupid asylum laws that I´m going to tomorrow.

I did good

Mar. 9th, 2010 07:25 pm
schneefink: River walking among trees, from "Safe" (St. Petersburg Garten)
I am awesome!

Not to sound unhumble (wow, that´s a word?), but: I got an A on my Accounting exam. (Accounting and Management Control.) Said to be one of the two most difficult exams during the first year. I got an A. And that´s not even counting the extra points I get for participating in that study they did.

Sure, I was way too long online during the last few weeks. (Way too long, really.) Doing stupid things instead of things I´d actually like to do, like reading poetry (-.-), but I also studied. And it paid off!
(How it went: I really did study the whole February like never rarely before and was still very nervous. After the exam I was nervous because it just couldn´t have been that easy, right? But I was optimistic enough to buy the books for AMC II before I got the result. And then I hardly believed my eyes.)

This semester I´m planning to do a lot of exams (Maths, Finance, European Law in May, Economics II, AMC II and another one in June), and I´m already very busy (good thing: I can´t be online that much because I´m busy studying...) but! I will pass and do well! Because when I study I´m smart enough for any exam.

(And I will also write stories! Stories, as in, more than one! Because I am awesome!)

:D
schneefink: River walking among trees, from "Safe" (St. Petersburg Garten)
I had my second university exam and I´m sure I passed. Even though I only learned for two days because I was so lazy (something which I will never do again, ever. No, really.) (Now there´s Accounting and Russian and new classes to worry about, but) Done!

Also, I took up knitting. I started about one week ago and I´m already on the third ball of wool for grandmother´s scarf for Christmas. It´s oddly relaxing (study one chapter, knit for a few minutes, study the next chapter...) and the scarf will look great!

Also, I wrote something! [livejournal.com profile] naye had a brilliant idea started a One Piece Drabbles Chaos Thread of Doom (index) about two weeks ago and I couldn´t not participate. I even wrote some "drabbles" (more than one hundred words, though) that I think are not too bad. (I´m sooo proud of myself :D) Posting here just that I don´t forget them.


A OP villain must save a kitten from a tree
Choosing a villain wasn´t easy... )


The Auction House, Shabondy
They told him that their dogs were vicious creatures. )


Granpa
(I don´t know how I got this idea, but I just went with it.) )

Une
There can never be enough Une. Although she deserves happier things than in this one here. )
schneefink: River walking among trees, from "Safe" (Default)
LET´S HAVE CAKE!
(That´s supposed to be my brother´s birthday cake, or a proxy, since he is in New Zealand. He got a chocolate cake instead. And yes, of course I made this one myself!

Today I went to my first lectures and started to read the (many many and very thick) books and found my lecture hall in the (extremely large) university and I didnt get bored (except of a tiny little bit while waiting) and I got the book I needed from the library (it was the next to last copy) and then I got home and had CAKE and life is great!
Tomorrow I have a lecture at 8:30 which is admittedly not ideal but not too bad, either.
AND I wrote drabbles about university!, about real stuff, I didn´t even have to invent anything. (In German, though.) I think I´ll do a small series.

YAY! MORE CAKE!

It´s Linzerschnitte! Best translated as... Linzer slice? You can preserve it one week, easily. And it was great. Is great - we still have some.

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